Gushyingiranwa ni byiza. Ariko si filime.
Abantu benshi bategura cyane umunsi w’ubukwe: imyambaro, amafoto, indirimbo, aho ibirori bizabera n’abazabitabira. Ariko hari ikintu rimwe na rimwe kititabwaho bihagije: ubuzima buzaza nyuma y’ubukwe.
Kuko ubukwe bumwe bushobora kumara umunsi umwe, ariko kubana nk’abashakanye ni urugendo rw’imyaka myinshi.
Mbere yo kuvuga ngo “Yego ndabyemeye”, hari ibintu ugomba kuba mwaraganiriyeho kandi ukabisuzuma neza. Si ukubera ko utizeye uwo mukundana, ahubwo ni ukubera ko gukunda umuntu no kuba mwiteguye kubana ari ibintu bibiri bitandukanye.
Dore ibintu by’ingenzi ugomba kwitondera.
1. Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije
Urukundo ni ingenzi cyane, ariko rwonyine ntirwubaka urugo.
Ubuzima buzana ibihe bitandukanye: ibibazo by’amafaranga, indwara, akazi, igitutu cy’imiryango, inshingano z’abana ndetse n’ibihe umwe cyangwa bombi bashobora gucika intege.
Muri ibyo bihe, amarangamutima y’urukundo ashobora kutaba ahagije.
Urugo rusaba kandi kwihangana, kuvugana, kwigomwa, kubahana, kwizerana no kubahiriza inshingano.
Ni yo mpamvu utagomba kwibaza gusa uti: “Ndamukunda?”
Ibaze na none uti: “Ese dushobora gukorana nk’ikipe igihe ubuzima butatugendeye neza?”
2. Ntukizere ko ubukwe buzahindura umuntu
Impeta ntihindura imico.
Niba umuntu atubaha abandi, adashobora kugenzura uburakari bwe, adakunda gukora, ahora abeshya cyangwa afite indi myitwarire ikubangamira, ntukishingikirize ku cyizere cy’uko azahinduka amaze gushaka.
Birashoboka ko umuntu yahinduka, ariko agomba kuba abishaka kandi akabikorera.
Gushyingiranwa si gahunda yo kuvura imyitwarire mibi y’umuntu.
Niba harigihe ugira utya ukibwira uti “Ndamukunda, ariko nyuma y’ubukwe azabikosora,” hagarara gato.
Ntushyingiranwa n’icyo wifuza ko umuntu azaba cyo.
3. Shakana n’umuntu ari we uyu munsi, si uwo ushaka ko azaba
Mbere yo kubana n’umuntu, reba uko yitwara mu buzima busanzwe.
Uko akoresha amafaranga.
Uko afata abantu batamufitiye icyo bamumarira.
Uko yitwara iyo arakaye.
Uko asaba imbabazi.
Uko akemura amakimbirane.
Uko avuga ku babyeyi n’umuryango.
Uko yubaha imbibi zawe.
Ndetse n’uko afata inshingano.
Ibyo ni byo uzabana na byo.
Ntushyingiranwa n’amagambo umuntu akubwira igihe murikurambangizanya; ushyingiranwa n’imyitwarire ye isanzwe.
4. Ibikomere utakize ushobora kubijyana mu rugo
Hari abantu batekereza ko kubona umukunzi mushya bizakemura ibibazo byabo bya kera.
Si ko bimeze.
Ibikomere by’ubwana, guhemukirwa, kutiyizera, ubwoba bwo gutereranwa cyangwa ibindi bibazo umuntu atarakemura bishobora kongera kugaragara mu rugo.
Bishobora kugaragara nk’ishyari rikabije, gukeka, kugenzura uwo mwashakanye, guceceka igihe hari ikibazo cyangwa kubika inzika.
Ni yo mpamvu kwimenya ari ingenzi mbere yo kwiyemeza kubana n’undi muntu.
ukamenya ibikomere ufite ndetse nogushaka ubufasha aho bibaye ngombwa.
Ntugomba kuba umuntu utunganye. Ariko ugomba kuba witeguye kumenya intege nke zawe no kuzikoraho.
5. Amafaranga mugomba kuyaganiraho mbere y’ubukwe
Amafaranga ni kimwe mu bintu bishobora gutera amakimbirane mu ngo.
Mbere yo kubana, mugomba kugira ibiganiro by’ukuri ku bijyanye n’amafaranga.
Mugomba kumenya uko buri wese abona amafaranga, uko ayakoresha, niba afite imyenda, ibyo ashaka kuzigama, inshingano afite n’uko muzafatanya mu gukemura ibibazo by’amafaranga.
Ikibazo si ukuba umukire cyangwa umukene.
Ikibazo ni kutagira gahunda no kutumvikana ku nshingano.
Niba umwe asesagura amafaranga yose undi akaba ashaka kuzigama, niba umwe afite imyenda myinshi undi akaba atabizi, cyangwa niba mutarigeze muganira ku buryo amafaranga azakoreshwa, ibyo ni ibiganiro mugomba kugira mbere yo kubana.
6. Muganire ku bintu abantu benshi batinya kuvugaho
Hari ibiganiro abantu benshi birinda mbere y’ubukwe kuko batinya ko bishobora kwangiza urukundo.
Ariko ibintu bitavuzwe mbere bishobora kuba ibibazo bikomeye nyuma.
Muganire ku bana: Mushaka kubyara? Bana bangahe?
Muganire ku kazi, aho muzatura, inshingano zo mu rugo, imiryango yanyu, idini n’indangagaciro, imibonano mpuzabitsina, ubuzima, inshingano z’ababyeyi n’ibindi bintu by’ingenzi kuri buri wese.
Ntimugomba kumvikana kuri buri kintu.
Ariko mugomba kumenya aho mutandukaniye no kumenya niba mushobora kubana n’ayo matandukaniro.
7. Ubukwe ni amahitamo ya buri munsi
Umunsi w’ubukwe ntabwo ari wo munsi wonyine uhindura abantu babiri abashakanye.
Nyuma yawo haba iminsi isanzwe.
Hari umunsi umwe uzaba urakaye. Undi uzaba unaniwe. Hari igihe amafaranga azaba make. Hari igihe umwe azakenera kwitabwaho kurusha undi.
Muri ibyo bihe ni bwo ubukwe nyabwo bugaragara.
Guhitamo uwo mwashakanye ni intangiriro; gukomeza kumuhitamo ni akazi ka buri munsi.
Bisaba kuganira aho guceceka, gusaba imbabazi aho gutsimbarara, gushyiraho imbibi aho kwihanganira ibintu byose no gukomeza kubaka icyizere.
Nta muntu utunganye ushaka
Mbere yo gushaka, ntushake umuntu utagira amakosa. Ntawe uhari.
Ahubwo shaka umuntu mushobora kubahana, kuvugana na we, gukorana na we no gukemurana ibibazo mu gihe ubuzima bubagoye.
Kandi nawe ubwawe, ibaze niba uri umuntu ushobora kuba uwo mwashakanye mwiza.
Kuko ikibazo si gusa ngo:
“Ese uyu muntu arankwiriye?”
Hari n’ikindi gikomeye:
“Ese nanjye niteguye kuba uwo umuntu ashobora kubana na we mu buzima busanzwe?”
Ubukwe si ugushaka umuntu wuzuye. Ni abantu babiri bazi neza abo ari bo, bazi ibyo biyemeje kandi bagahitamo kubaka hamwe, nubwo ubuzima butazahora bworoshye.
Mbere yo kuvuga ngo “Yego”, banza muganire ku byo mutinya, ibyo mwifuza, ibyo mutemeranyaho n’ubuzima mushaka kubaka.
Kuko ubukwe bushobora kuba umunsi mwiza cyane, ariko urugo ni rwo rugaragaza niba koko mwari mwiteguye.
